Is Amber Heard a Narcissist?
The Story of Snow White's Stepmom and Johnny Depp
They were the stuff fairytales are made of. One kiss and they madly fell in love. A few months and they madly fell out. The one thing missing was a villain. Who knew the heroine of the story would also be the villain? Their relationship became so violent it tore apart their lives, careers, reputation, laws, fans, opinions, film industry, social media, and law experts. Some felt Johnny was too good to be bad. Some felt Amber was too bad to be good. Others swore they had gut feelings right from the start that she was 'Just not right', 'Just not genuine', 'Just narcissistic.'
But who are narcissists?
Snow White's stepmom used to be the best examples of a narcissist. Since May 2022, after the Jonny Depp Amber Heard Defamation Trial she has been rudely replaced by Amber Heard!
Narcissists are super predators. Spurred by negative experiences in their early life or through genetically inherited traits, they learn predatory behaviour which on closer examination appears to be advanced survival technique and mechanism. In ordinary circumstances they are ordinary people with minor red flags flapping here and there through personality cracks. Recognising them is not impossible but difficult as they pretend at being things they aren't and gel easily exhibiting affability, sympathy, charm, charisma and intelligence. It's only when they have captured their target that their narcissism begins to unfold. Outside of their target (and the people witnessing it) nobody is likely to know them in their true colours. That's what makes them so utterly dangerous in relationships of all kinds!
Narcs tend to regard themselves as one with the fishing hook. Yes, you are the fish and they have worms. Lots of them. You cannot escape. And while it may be your life and death, it is just a game for them and the prize of a sumptuous meal at the end of it.
Of course, there's a great deal more to narcissism but in this post we'll only explore the striking traits of narcissism observed in Amber Heard who has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). It is interesting to note that nearly 40% of people with BPD also have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and HPD is a close cousin of NPD. Meaning Amber isn't far from being a full blown narcissist.
Selecting Their Target
Narcissists always select their targets from whom they can gain. They never fall for someone who cannot benefit them. No. Love is not a benefit, but just a rung on their ladder to reach their goal. Narcissists are incapable of loving anyone truly.
Amber Heard may not have selected Johnny Depp outright, but when chance-entering his orbit she certainly may have singled him out, sparking his interest by giving him that special kiss in the shower on Rum Diary set that Jack termed as 'something special between us'.
She is rumoured to have started affairs with other well-known people (during her marriage) such as Jason Momoa, James Franco and Elon Musk even at the risk of scandal, cheating and igniting more problems in her marriage than there already were.
Laying the trap like a worm on the hook
Once you as a target have been singled out, the rest of the world around narcissists fades into oblivion and they focus solely on you with a ruthless attention to details. It usually involves learning about your ways, personality, past life etc, strategically placing themselves in your focus range to get noticed, covertly convincing you (by means of mirroring, acting, pretending, lies, adopting false personality traits) how they are 'the best' for you while telling you that you are the best for them. You get to see only the best, the manipulated, highly edited, cropped, photoshopped version usually accompanied with seductive sexuality, beguiling, innocent/ suffering/ wronged/ victim image. You are bound to fall in the trap before you're even aware while everybody around you can see what's happening and wonders what could have made you fall for this kind of a person.
Johnny Depp was smitten with Amber Heard and although he was warned by not one but several people including his sister, mother and Angelina Jolie against Amber, he felt convinced they were all wrong in their feelings for her. Amber had a different face for him and a different one for others which is why he never got to see her as she really was but only as she presented herself before him: Flawless! Perfect! Ideal! The best! His soulmate! His morning star! His angel from heavens! Made just for him!
Ask yourself: Who wouldn't have fallen? Wouldn't you too?
Mirroring or 'I am just like you', 'I am everything you are', 'I am the one you always searched for, always wanted', ' I am made just for you.'
Narcs do impeccable homework on you, discovering through back sources what you like, plan to do, dream about, how you behave, everything. Then when they meet you, they drop hints of being/ doing/ liking same things that you do. Whatever is important to you is important for them in order to trap you. In short, the narcissist takes on your personality traits like your mirror image and you fall for it. It's a common knowledge that we like being friends with others who have similar personality, interests and characters.
Johnny Depp admitted books, music and wine brought them together. He told the court how Amber Heard had praised him for his performance on his various films which he later found out she hadn't even watched.
Love Bombing or enticing the fish not with one worm but with a mine of worms on the hook. It seems madness for you to say 'no'.
Having aroused your interest they shower you with love, care and attention that is ethereal, beautiful, intense, innocent and a gift from heaven with just one flaming red flag to detect it: 'Too good to be true.'
When something is too good to be true it usually isn't. Is it?
The boot taking off ritual of Amber Heard accounts for that. Johnny Depp in his own words said 'She was too good to be true!' Johnny Depp did not marry Vanessa Paradies even after having two children by her and a long steady nurturing relationship. Yet after meeting Amber he got engaged and married her even without a Prenup who was never a wife, soulmate, friend or mother-of-his-children material to begin with. Some bumps in the relationship had already started to appear but even that didn't stop him from tying the knot.
That's the beauty and craft of a narc: they make you do things they want while making you think you want it.
They drop hints about their plans like a joke and you laugh at them thinking how funny they are. Only they know it was never a joke - it was a grim warning you didn't heed.
They drop hints of their truth knowing that you will never understand the truth. These hints at the moment appear like funny jokes but make chilling sense only later on after you have already been wrecked. You realise how your ruin was meticulously planned from the start!
Amber's tattoo in Spanish by Chilean poet Pablo Nerudaon her back says as much: It states, "te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma" which in English means, "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul." Her love for Johnny, if love it was, is certainly a dark sinister demonic shadow for Johnny's soul. One of the darkest things in his entire life that he is never likely to forget.
She gifted Johnny a dagger engraved with "hasta la muerte" - meaning "until death" in Spanish. As a joking hint it really meant: 'I will not let you live. I will stab your heart and stay there until death, like this dagger.'
'She' was the dagger she had gifted!
She wrote in her love notes: 'I want to devour you. I want to rip you apart.' She did.
Leading you deeper and deeper into their trap while shutting down your escape routes one by one
With that much love, care and attention, you trust and begin to feels safe with the narc and rely completely on him. The question of questioning him, mistrusting or even doubting does not arise. You would rather distrust the whole world than him. In other words you just walk into the trap, lock yourself in and hand over the keys to him with a kiss and a smile still not believing how lucky you have been to have found him!
A narc will be as good as an angel till he has got what he wanted. After that he will just childishly delight in being as bad as the devil....
Johnny Depp was warned by several people but he couldn't see what they were seeing and they couldn't see what he had been shown. He ended up getting alienated from his family. He stopped trusting them and they walked one by one out of his life leaving him alone with the wolf!
A prenup never materialised. A post-nup never materialised either, both being escape routes. And the attempt to procure a postnup caused an ugly scene in Australia and a severed finger tip for Johnny.
The party begins for the narcissist, the nightmare for you
Once you have been secured and rendered inescapable, the narc loses no time to shed his mask. Victims report how after the deal was signed, suddenly the person became different. Remember how Snow White's stepmom changed immediately after marrying the king?
You start noticing bizarre tiny changes here and there in the narc that don't make sense to you but you dismiss them as your confusion or 'weird nothings'. The narc, having gotten what he wanted has now no need to keep up the facade for you. From being adorable, sweet, loving, caring lamb, he starts exhibiting temper, tantrums, disrespect, digs, coldness, indifference like a beast; and intensely enjoys how you get busy figuring out what could have possibly gone wrong.
It is not clear exactly when did things start going sour between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. What is shocking however, is that they still went ahead and tied the knot. Their marriage without a prenup was the last nail in the coffin, the last escape route not taken.
Johnny noticed how she would suddenly erupt in anger without reason, become jealous for no cause, oscillate between being loving to hating for no reason, and turn physically violent and verbally abusive that made no sense. He thought he must have done something wrong...
The real face emerges but no one can see it. Except you.
No more acting. No more sweet words. They all get replaced by smirks and snickers, digs and insults, cold indifference and a mountain of misunderstandings ensuing out of nowhere. Having gained complete control of you, the narc then begins the torture phase with constant bullying and gaslighting. You are hugely confused: You suddenly don't know what is expected of you and how to predict him. Nothing you do is right. Everything you do is wrong. Everything leads to conflicts. Arguments lead nowhere and no solution works. Nothing works. You realise you are chained and under his claw. You can't figure out what happened to all that love? You are transformed into a victim as your life begins collapsing around you in a rapid chaos.
Exactly this kind of thing happened between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. The boot-opening loving girl morphed into ruthless, threatening, digging, insulting, pushing, kicking, hitting, punch wielding girl.
She questioned everything that he did; his life, career, talent, sanity, intellect, persona, fame, status, prestige, fatherhood, family, everything. She called him insulting bad names that nobody deserves least of all Johnny.
Amber Heard reportedly challanged Johnny Depp on audio: Can you tell the world that you, Pirates of the Caribbean star, a man, are the victim of domestic abuse? Who will believe you?'
First they learnt what's important to you, then turn their guns on them. The more you suffer, the more pleasure they receive.
They weaponise everything that's dear and important to you. What pains you most delights them the most. What delights you the most stresses them the most. So your dreams, dear things, important things become their weapons to hurt you.
Amber Heard knew Johnny Depp's biggest dream, biggest ambition was to be a good father to his children. She frequently said scathing remarks about them to hurt him. She knew Johnny wanted peace and his space, so he walked away. So she made sure she wouldn't let him have his peace by forcing him to stay whichever way she could, that usually meant drama, screaming, violence, begging and crying.
She knew Johnny loved his children and wouldn't hear anything about them, so she pulled his children's name in arguments. She reportedly provoked Johnny by saying: 'I hope your son's stepfather can teach him to be a real man since you couldn't.'
Even in courtroom during the Defamation Trial she is recored to have smirked as Johnny recounted how he lost his Disney Film contract because of her.
The weapons in their hands, the poison in their minds, the smile on their lips
Word salads (pointless talking round and round in circles aimed at confusing and blaming), narcissistic rage, Gaslighting, lying, blaming, blame-shifting, devaluing; these are the bullets in a narc's revolver. Acting innocent like an angel while laying all blame on the victim when they themselves were the perpetrator is a classic narc-tactic.
Just as we saw in Amber Heard-Johnny Depp case. She never thought she did anything wrong. It was always Johnny's fault. Every time she fought with him it was his fault. Even when she didn't pay the Divorce settlement to the charity because she wanted to keep the 7 million, it was his fault.
In words of Camille Vasquez 'She didn't take accountabilty for anything.'
Making a mountain out of a molehill, blatant brutal lying, having no interest for you but getting deeply offended when you fail to show interest in them, arguments and conflicts at every step and turn, your every effort at peace making is interpreted as hostility, intolerant of contradicting opinions or views, you don't exist for them other than saying yes to them and tell them how good they are, your love is decoded as hatred when they themselves hate you and demand you to believe that their hatred is sheer love, claiming innocence even when they are guilty, proclaiming your guilt when you are innocent, exploiting and hurting you without a shadow of guilt and shame, creating high drama, being always angry and scathing but appearing to get insulted, affected when you so much as raise a brow, the tortures inflicted by a narc are straight from hell.
You are now completely lost and devalued. You no longer know who you are, who you were, what you should do, who is right or wrong. You begin doubting yourself to the point of endangering your self image and existence, lose your confidence and your meaning of life. Constant pressure, conflicts, tensions and fights threaten emotional/ physical breakdown, depression, melancholy and anxiety further escalating your downfall.
Exactly what we witnessed in Johnny Depp-Amber Heard case. Johnny Depp admitted on witness stand he couldn't figure out how could he have been wrong all his life as Amber Heard pointed him out. Constant fights wore him down to the point of breakdowns. He was constantly insulted, bullied, badgered, forced, provoked, belittled, demeaned and then blamed for causing the exact things and so much more to her.
An intelligent, emotional, self made, world-renowned, peace loving man who had more houses than we have fingers on our hand, private jets and an island all for himself, was locking himself up in bathrooms and sleeping on bathroom floors to have his peace and to escape her physical attacks? Words will never be able to describe his pain!
That was what a narc reduced him to...! And blamed him for...!
The truth you tell is not the truth; it's a lie. How dare you lie? The lie they tell is the truth. They always tell the truth. Full Stop.
Lying is to narcs what swimming is to fish. They lie about everything, everywhere and all the time, left, right, top, bottom. They lie so much they don't even care if they will be found out. When caught lying, they race down to more and more lies till you're exhausted of pointing out and give up on proving them at all. They lie and flip, they lie and flip. They deny deny deny. They accuse, accuse, accuse. It stops being a fight for truth or false but a test of how much you can bear. Their ability to negate truth in the face of all proofs, spinning a lie in thin air out of nowhere and saying them with such conviction and pretence that they believe their lies themselves.
Amber Heard lied through and through. She faked her injuries, abuses, situations, feelings, emotions, everything. She lied under oath and spun more lies to suit her testimony as she marched on. Every time she was caught she made up another to cover up. Do you understand now why Amber says she was hurt and abused? In her narcissistic eyes she was the one being hurt and abused while she was hurting and abusing Johnny Depp. Its tragic!
You can't argue with a narc just like you can't argue with a wall. You can't talk reason and logic with them because (they believe) you're the one without reason and logic. You can't tell them they are hurting you because (they believe) you are the one hurting them.
Their rage, like their lies, springs out of nowhere and feels like a monster unleashed or a Strombolian eruption. Mostly they occur when they are bored, in a mood for drama, or you happen to say no to them or ask them to do something they don't want. Their rage is their control mechanism to force you into submission. You often just submit or walk away to avoid their explosive violent fury. You want to have your peace but, nope. Your narc will not let you have it. Peace is never on narc's agenda. Never. Not your peace. Not their peace. They have a need for violence, drama, conflict and aggression.
Amber Heard regularly flew in violent rages hitting Johnny Depp and hurling things at him and turned it around to him doing these things to her. When he tried to have his space and walk away that enraged her even more. She injured him on various ocasions but lied comfortably to court that he had injured her in spite of photographic evidence saying otherwise. Johnny Depp said: 'She had a need for argument. She had a need for conflict. She had a need for violence!'
She was completely heartless, merciless, and remorseless but blamed Johnny for being the same. She was brutally unaware of how she was harming him, because in her eyes that was exactly how he was harming her!
You see? The list can be quite long. We're glad it's finally over for Johnny but it's highly doubtful if he'll ever forget the sufferings he endured. Ironically, the same can be said for Amber Heard also who strongly continues to believe that she was abused, that the verdict is wrong, that she did nothing wrong, that the media acted against her. Being a narcissist she is simply unable to see her faults. She continues to deny the truth, goes on believing in her false lies and keeps blaming everyone on earth except herself.
Her latest statement after losing against Johnny Depp in the Defamation Trial is 'I never lied to anybody. But I still lost the case because Johnny is a popular actor.'
Disclaimer: This post only attempts to explore if Amber Heard has narcissistic traits, to understand why she did what she did and to educate people about the destructive nature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. People suffering from NPD are messed up people and they mess up everyone they come in contact with. They can't be changed because they don't realise that they have a problem to begin with. In their eyes they are normal. This post does not diagnose the disorder and does not ridicule Amber Heard or Johnny Depp.
I sincerely wish both Johnny Depp and Amber Heard a healing for their injured souls!
Thank you for reading.